Mama Said, “Don't Tell Everybody Your Business.” But Mama, I Own a Business!

Unlearning old advice, finding my voice, and realizing that doing great work isn't enough if nobody knows you're doing it.

Growing up, my mother had a few sayings that I heard over and over again.

“Don't tell people what you're doing until it's done.”

“Don't tell everybody the moves you're making.”

And one of her personal favorites: “Don't be telling people all your business!”

If you grew up in a household like mine, you probably heard some version of these same words.

And listen, I get it.

My mother was giving me advice rooted in love, protection, and wisdom from her own experiences. She came from a different time, when keeping your plans to yourself was often considered the smartest way to move through life. You worked quietly, minded your business, and let your accomplishments speak for themselves.

There is absolutely value in that advice.

But here's the thing.

Mama, I own a business now. And apparently, I have to tell people about it!

The Advice That Stuck

It's funny how certain things we hear growing up become so deeply ingrained in us that we don't even realize how much they influence our behavior as adults.

For me, keeping things close to the vest has always felt natural.

I don't necessarily feel the need to announce every move I'm making, every project I'm working on, or every accomplishment I've achieved.

I'm usually just busy doing the work.

And when I say busy, I mean BUSY.

Running TL Design Lab means working with clients, designing websites, developing brands, solving problems, managing my team, developing new business and helping organizations figure out how to communicate who they are and what they do.

The irony?

I spend a significant amount of my professional life helping other people tell their stories, communicate their value, and build their visibility. Yet somehow, I occasionally forget to do the same for myself.

Make that make sense.

Wait, You Do What?

I've had more than one conversation with friends that went something like this:

A friend starts telling me about someone they know who's starting a business.

"They're trying to figure out their branding."

Or...

"They need someone to redesign their website."

Or...

"They're looking for someone who can help them build out their business identity."

And I'm sitting there listening, thinking...

You do know what I do for a living, right?

Eventually, I'll say something like, "Well, you know I can help them with that. That's literally what I do."

And then comes the response.

"OH MY GOD! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DID THAT!"

Wait. What?

These are people I see regularly. People I talk to. People who I thought knew I owned a design agency.

And somehow, they have no idea what I actually do.

Now, is that their fault or mine?

I could argue that maybe they weren't listening.

But if I'm being fair, I have to acknowledge something.

Maybe I haven't been talking about it enough.

Maybe I've been so focused on doing the work that I've forgotten to talk about the work.

And as a business owner, that's a problem.

Doing Great Work Isn't the Same as Being Known for Great Work

One of the biggest lessons I'm learning as an entrepreneur is that being good at what you do and making sure people know what you do are two entirely different things.

You can be incredibly talented.

You can deliver exceptional results.

You can have happy clients, an impressive portfolio, and years of experience.

But if the people around you don't understand what you offer, how can they refer you? How can they recommend your services? How can they think of you when an opportunity comes along?

They can't connect the dots if you haven't given them the dots to connect.

And that realization has forced me to rethink something I've carried with me for most of my life.

Visibility isn't necessarily bragging. Sometimes, it's simply making sure people know how you can help.

There's a difference between sharing every detail of your personal life and communicating your professional value.

And I'm learning that I can do one without doing the other.

Giving Advice I Need to Take Myself

Here's where this story gets even funnier.

Not long ago, I was having a conversation with a friend who is extraordinarily talented. She's involved in so many meaningful initiatives, advocates tirelessly for children, supports others, and consistently does incredible work.

She's also regularly recognized for her contributions.

As we were talking, I found myself telling her:

"You have to start talking about what you do!"

I told her that people need to know about the work she's doing, the impact she's making, and the recognition she's receiving.

"What's the point of receiving all these accolades if nobody knows about them?"

She paused and said, "You know what? You're right."

And there I was, feeling like I'd just delivered some wonderful advice.

Until it hit me.

Ma'am. You need to take your own advice.

Because I do the exact same thing.

I'm quick to encourage other people to celebrate their accomplishments, share their expertise, and make sure the world knows what they're bringing to the table.

Meanwhile, I'm over here quietly checking things off my to-do list and moving on to the next project.

The irony is not lost on me.

And Then There's Social Media...

Now, if you really want to blow my mother's mind, let's talk about social media.

The idea that people voluntarily get on the internet and tell complete strangers what they're doing, where they're going, what they're eating, what they're working on, and what they've accomplished?

She cannot wrap her head around it.

And honestly, sometimes I understand her.

We live in a world where sharing has become second nature. Some people share everything. Others, like me, are still figuring out where the line is between being visible and being private.

But for business owners, social media and digital platforms have changed the game.

Your online presence is often someone's first introduction to you.

Your website tells people what you offer.

Your portfolio demonstrates what you're capable of.

Your social media gives people a glimpse into your expertise, your process, and the work you're doing.

And the stories you share help people understand why they should work with you.

At TL Design Lab, I tell clients all the time that their digital presence should communicate their value clearly and confidently.

So why shouldn't I hold myself to that same standard?

Unlearning Doesn't Mean Forgetting

I want to be clear about something.

I don't think my mother's advice was wrong.

I think it was right for the world she knew and the experiences that shaped her.

And there are still plenty of things I believe are better kept private.

Not every plan needs an announcement.

Not every accomplishment requires an audience.

And not everybody needs access to every part of your life.

But I've also come to understand that privacy and visibility can coexist.

I can protect my peace and promote my business.

I can be intentional about what I share without feeling like I'm revealing too much.

I can celebrate my accomplishments without feeling like I'm showing off.

And I can talk about the work I do without compromising the values my mother instilled in me.

It's not about abandoning what I was taught.

It's about adapting those lessons to the life I'm living now.

So, What Am I Doing Differently?

I'm making a conscious effort to be more intentional about sharing my work.

Not because I suddenly want to become the person who posts every accomplishment or announces every move.

That's probably never going to be me.

But because I recognize that the business I've worked hard to build deserves to be seen.

I'm learning to talk more openly about the projects I'm working on, the problems I'm solving, the clients I'm helping, and the expertise I've developed.

I'm learning that when someone asks what I do, "I own a design agency" doesn't tell the whole story.

And I'm reminding myself that sharing my accomplishments doesn't diminish my humility.

It simply allows people to see the work behind them.

Most importantly, I'm learning that sometimes you have to be your own biggest advocate.

Because while word of mouth is wonderful, people have to know what to say about you before they can spread the word.

Mama, I'm Still Working on It!

The next time my mother hears me talking about a project, sharing an accomplishment, or posting something about my business, I can already hear her:

"Now, don't be telling everybody all that!"

And I'll probably laugh and say:

"Mama, I HAVE to tell them! Otherwise, how are they going to know? And if they don't know, how are they going to hire me?"

Different times. Different world. Same daughter, just learning how to navigate it all.

I'm a work in progress, and I've never claimed to be anything else.

Some lessons take longer to unlearn than others, especially when they've been part of your thinking for decades.

But I'm getting there.

One conversation. One post. One shared accomplishment at a time.

And if you're a fellow entrepreneur who has been quietly doing amazing work behind the scenes, consider this your reminder, and mine:

Don't get so busy doing the work that you forget to let people know what you do.

Your work deserves to be seen.

Your expertise deserves to be recognized.

And the people who need what you offer deserve the opportunity to find you.

As for me?

I'm going to keep building, keep learning, and keep finding my voice.

And Mama, I promise I'm not telling them all my business.

Just enough to stay in business.

Written by Taynaya “Naya” Lee, Founder of TL Design Lab, LLC

About TL Design Lab

TL Design Lab is a creative digital design agency specializing in website design and development, UX/UI design, branding, digital strategy, and helping businesses and organizations create meaningful digital experiences.

We believe that great design does more than look good. It communicates your value, tells your story, and helps the right people find you.

And yes, we're getting better at telling our own story, too.